Darkside - Psychic [4th October 2013 on The 405]

With every release, Nicolas Jaar appears to be not of this world. His debut solo release Space Is Only Noise felt like a bolt from the blue; a 2001: A Space Odyssey style monolith bringing, not technology, but a minimalist style to electronic music that instantly felt like it was going to revolutionise the game. Clearly not content with simply sticking to minimal electronic styles, Jaar has spread his wings in the form of Darkside, a project started in 2011 with multi-instrumentalist Dave Harrington. While 2011's debut EP felt like a bluesy, atmospheric piece, Psychic feels like a whole other beast, one that has evolved as Jaar and Harrington has sucked in more styles and influences into their musical black hole.

Psychic has had very little publicity surrounding it beyond a listening party in Brooklyn, yet it's this lack of anything, no overt campaigns, no graffiti, no teasing a release every other hour, that's made real intrigue as to what this release will be like. Something that Daft Punk could definitely learn from; less is more. It's an ethos that bleeds into the album itself. Everything is a shadow of what you might expect, giving the entire album a dreamlike, otherworldly minimalism that feels not too far from a Haruki Murakami novel.

Opening track, 'Golden Arrow' is an 11 minute long summation of what Psychic is about. Beginning with static noises, clicks, and beeps before transforming into this space-age beast as Harrington's whirling riffs combine with the striding beats; the start of your journey. The pounding march of 'Heart', a catchy trip that feels as if Brian Eno's Apollo got infested with Pink Floyd prog guitar riffs, gives way to 'Paper Trails', the latest single from the album, with its dark and mysterious vocals, and echoing blues guitar that feels like an homage to Chris Isaak's 'Wicked Games'; extraordinarily simple but hauntingly beautiful in equal measure.

'The Only Shrine I've Seen' takes you to what could quite easily be a ritual involving the Cult of Prince. Otherwordly vocals mix with ritual clapping and the jangling of wind chimes before leading into disco inspired riffs and Prince esque falsettos, all driven along by a confident minimal bassline.
Album closer, 'Metatron', feels like awakening from the weird and jarring dream that is everything that preceded this track. Your mind is still a jumble; a mix of the sounds of your air conditioner, voices on the radio as you tune it to find a station and the general hustle and bustle outside until it finally clears as the sleek guitars and sultry bassline kick in to deliver you safely back to a world that almost makes sense, but with memories of this dream still present albeit a blur, a shadow of what just happened. Like 'Golden Arrow' it feels like a microcosm of the album but, instead of preparing you to dive in to the album, 'Metatron' makes you want to jump right back in to relive those memories all over again.

Psychic is an album that isn't trying to please anyone but itself and, to many, this could be an instant turn off. There is pretension dripping through it - a sort of "look at what we can do" feeling - but it's a pretension you want to get involved with and embrace. It's an album that sounds as though it was conceived by a bunch of mad scientists, pouring in a dash of blues, some jazz, and some special Jaar minimal formula, while ripping up conventions into as many pieces as it can before strutting away with such confidence and swagger that it's hard not admire this confusing yet infectious creature.

Rating: 8/10

Milk It [2nd October 2013 on The Fly]

There are many songs that, we’re sure, bands have written, recorded and later realised were shit. We all make mistakes. That’s why these tracks get thrown into the deepest hole possible. Yet for some reason (can’t think why), bands and record labels like to dig into this pile of scraps in the hopes of finding a nice little diamond in there. Sometimes it works — and sometimes it doesn’t.

Last week, the long-awaited 70 track reissue of Nirvana’s ‘In Utero’ was released. Among those 70 tracks, there is, however, only one that’s “new”. Aptly named ‘Forgotten Tune’, it feels as though it was forgotten for a reason. It is literally nothing more than a rehearsal practice. When Krist Novoselic et al are wracking their brains to remember what exactly the track is and when it was recorded (sometime around 1988 is the rough estimation), unable to even give it a name, you know they are really scraping the barrel. ‘In Utero’ is a great album, no doubt, but why dig so deep as a rehearsal in hopes of enticing a few more fans to buy it?

Nirvana are not the only ones to have their bins rooted through in such undignified fashion, however. In 1995, 25 years after The Beatles broke up, the surviving members unearthed a home recording made by John Lennon in 1977, ‘Free As A Bird’. The rest of the band decided to release it with their own contributions added to it. It felt to many like a publicity gimmick, and it was. Released alongside a documentary about the band, ‘The Beatles Anthology’, it was the Fab Four’s first “new” single since 1970’s ‘The Long And Winding Road’. It was also a bit crap, meaning The Beatles ended not with a bang, but with a whimper set to an old, unreleased recording of John Lennon.

Re-recording half-done tracks is something of a recurring theme with posthumous releases. 

Sometimes, this can be a good thing — ‘(Sittin’ On) The Dock Of The Bay’, for instance, was released a month after Otis Redding’s death, with the signature whistling refrain which Redding had intended to replace with vocals at a later date. And we don’t want to imagine ‘(Sittin’ On) The Dock Of The Bay’ without the whistling. Other times, we have Drake getting his beastly paws all over an unreleased Aaliyah track, recorded before she died in 2001, and vomiting out his only contribution of an occasional “yo, what’s up” and a rap about Mario Balotelli. ‘Enough Said’, released last year, is not terrible —  the Aaliyah parts prove exactly why she was coined the “Princess of R&B”, and Noah ’40′ Shebib’s production is hazy and minimal. But then everyone’s favourite Degrassi star-turned-rapper (that list isn’t very long) decides to throw his own verse on top, which feels like he has chucked barbeque sauce all over a meticulously prepared chocolate dessert.


The same thing happened when meathead rapper 50 Cent – who was supposed to have quit music when he lost a bet to Kanye West – hopped into the studio in 2010 to record a verse on an unreleased Michael Jackson song. The result was ‘Monster’ which, unlike ‘Enough Said’, was not great in the first place… and only went downhill from there.

Of course, capitalising on an artist’s success occurs while they’re still alive. Decca Records have a lot to answer for with their decision to re-release David Bowie’s ‘The Laughing Gnome’ not once, but twice. This truly awful song was released as a novelty track in 1967 where it was panned by nearly everyone as the heavy-handed, cockney irritant it was. To get some idea of how astonishingly bad this song is, you’ll have to imagine Crazy Frog going onto carve himself a career as the most influential pop star of the early 21st century.

Luckily, this was before Bowie started making it big and we could class it as a little misstep on the way to greatness. Yet, in 1973, after Bowie had made his name, Decca re-released it and, somehow, it became certified silver in the UK. The only explanation I can think of for this tragic moment in music history is that the government were stockpiling copies to use as instruments of torture.  Then in 1982, tragedy struck again with a re-release designed to commemorate the track’s third decade of existence (and shore up Decca’s own flagging sales). Luckily, this time it flopped in the charts as people tried to scrub the idea that Bowie could be awful from their minds. Little did they know that Tin Machine lay just around the corner.

Nick Drake was not especially given to releasing singles, which was probably for the best given how many people paid attention to his career during his tragically cut-short lifetime. In 2004, he managed the nifty trick of releasing his first single some 30 years after his death, when ‘Magic’ was used to promote the ‘Made To Love Magic’ compilation. The track — which is a long way from being the best or worst thing he recorded, to be honest — was originally left off ‘Five Leaves Left’ recordings until it was exhumed to satisfy a burgeoning public appetite for unreleased Drake material which, in truth, was pretty thin on the ground. By the time another comp rolled around in the shape of 2007’s ‘Family Tree’, even Drake’s mum was being pressed into service in the hope of shoring up a few more quid.

In short: it’s nice to hear unreleased stuff from your favourite artists; whether it’s listening to John Coltrane mess about in the studio or hearing a rough cut of one of your favourite tracks to see how it has developed. You could even argue that, with the Aaliyah track, Drake was trying to bring her music to a generation that might not be aware of who she is, and that is commendable. But, really, if it was utter tripe or could become utter tripe with further messing about, just don’t bother. Burn it. Bury it. Throw it on a landfill in New Mexico. Leave it where you found it. Just don’t tarnish the reputation of artists we love for the sake of a quick buck!

Janelle Monae - The Electric Lady [9th September 2013 on The 405]

When Janelle Monáe made her official debut (after releasing a previous EP which she now tries to ignore as it wasn't from her fully formed self, this tuxedoed, quiffed star we see before us these days) in 2007 with the first part of her Metropolis series, Metropolis: Suite I (The Chase), she stayed somewhat under the radar.

Here was a pretty exciting new artist, inspired by Fritz Lang and Logan's Run mixing funk, soul, rock (every genre under the sun really) that didn't really make much of a splash. It wasn't until the continuation of the series, The ArchAndroid was released in 2010 that people started to sit up and take notice. Hints of John Barry orchestration here, touches of James Brown there, a healthy dose of Michael Jackson and David Bowie all over the place; she finally managed to capture the hearts of the public and critics with her story of a messianic android who defied the rules of Metropolis by falling in love with a human and, as a result, is sent back in time to stop a secret society from putting an end to freedom and love.

The story of Cindi Mayweather was not just a great example of Afrofuturism akin to that produced by the likes of Sun Ra and Parliament but thematically tackled notions of self-liberation, acceptance, and, as the disc jockey on 'Good Morning Midnight' preaches, "love, not hate."

The Electric Lady picks up where The ArchAndroid left off, with Mayweather taking up a position similar to that of Bokonon in Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle, an unseen rebel leader who is hunted by those in power and revered by everyone else though without the utterly confusing mantra of Bokonism of course. Stylistically, as well as thematically, The Electric Lady is similar to its predecessor, with Monáe using a vast array of genres to create some completely infectious tracks, like a chef with a well-stocked spice rack, where a pinch of electro-pop or 50s soul can completely change the feel of a track in an instant.

With guest appearances from the likes of Erykah Badu, Solange Knowles, Miguel, and even Prince, this is an album that is completely jam packed and never really seems to let go. There are 19 tracks here and not once does it really feel like it's stalling for time, even with radio skit interludes which give a nice little glimpse into the world of Metropolis, mainly tackling the idea of "the other" and "the acceptance of the other" with one caller, admittedly a bit too on the nose with his parody of anti-gay protesters, declaring cyborg love is just wrong. 'Look Into My Eyes' does at the start appear to be a carbon copy of a few of the slower tracks on The ArchAndroid but then transforms itself into a Roger Moore era Bond theme-esque beauty. Other than that one minor misstep, it becomes almost baffling that in its full run time it can be so packed with tune after tune.

Lead single from the album, 'Dance Apocalyptic', kicks off with a ukulele riff and pushes it up to 11 from there, making it impossible not to dance along to regardless of where you are. 'It's Code', although one of the weaker tracks, features psychedelic guitars, Vangelis-esque synths, and Monáe's beautifully soulful voice creating something that sounds as though Funkadelic ended up soundtracking a much more hopeful version of Blade Runner. It's this mix of the future and the past that makes Monáe so endearing; everything sounds like it belongs at the time of Cindi Mayweather but heavily rooted in pre-90s pop music. The recruitment of Prince on 'Givin Em What They Love' is testament to this and works well in realising this idea.

The main message throughout the album, and throughout the Metropolis series, is that of equality, particularly of female empowerment and The Electric Lady is loaded with tracks focused around this. 'Ghetto Woman' is one of the most interesting due to how personal it is, especially from a woman who tends to coat her messages in this sci-fi sheen. The track is a tribute to Monae's mother and allows us a glimpse into her life growing up in Kansas City while keeping things as funky as they have been throughout the album.

'The Electric Lady', featuring Solange, is perhaps one of the best "girl power" anthems of the year. Sometimes, the lyrics can get a bit too Hallmark such as on 'Victory', but it's never too overbearing to instil a sense of apathy in the listener; bored due to its unoriginality. In fact, lyrically, the album is extraordinarily strong from start to finish, the highlight, as mentioned earlier, being 'Ghetto Woman'.
Lyrics aside even, the production here is so strong; the classical interpretations of songs on the album in the overtures scattered throughout, the soft harp in 'Victory', the minimal synths giving a sort of Balearic feel to 'What An Experience'. Some may say the album is way too long, and it's unlikely that people will find the time to listen from start to finish so often, but there are so many highlights here that it's incredibly easy to dip your toes into the album at any point and still have a great time with it.
The Electric Lady features so many different styles yet each one is done near perfectly. Moving between genres is seamless and each track is so full of character as a result of this diversity, the exemplary arrangements and, of course, Monáe herself leading the way.

It's easy to see why almost every producer, artist, and critic is hailing Monae as something special. She is the Cindi Mayweather of pop, sent back in time to save us from the risk of banal chart gubbins - so let's follow The Electric Lady to this new land of whip-smart, exciting pop music and rejoice.

Rating: 9.5/10

Hot Natured - Different Sides of the Sun [2nd September 2013 at The 405]

Whatever era of house we're currently living is a far cry from that championed by the likes of Frankie Knuckles and the Hot Mix 5 DJ crew in 80s Chicago. Defining this current wave is extremely difficult; you just need to look at the tracklist for any "deep house" compilations on the shelves of your local supermarkets which features nearly every electronic artist currently somewhere in the charts.  The general consensus though is that it is generally mainstream friendly, with a hint of 90s R&B beats, a dash of modern pop, and some minimal techno to create something that could be played at nearly any point during a sunny BBQ, including long after the burgers have been eaten and the sun has gone down. Of course, the underground purists are none too happy with this move to the mainstream, with the likes of Disclosure and Duke Dumont on the firing line for those unhappy with the state of dance music today. 

Hot Natured are there too but, like Disclosure and Duke Dumont, they're not actively trying to destroy house music, simply take inspiration from the past and put their own modern, pop friendly spin on it, unleashing this world to your average Radio 1 listener. The "supergroup", consisting of Jamie Jones and Lee Foss, co-founders of the Hot Creations record label, as well as Ali Love and Luca C of Infinity Ink, have been one of the main proponents of this move to the mainstream, with sell out shows at Brixton Academy and a domination of radio airwaves over this past year. Their debut LP Different Sides of the Sun has all the tracks that soundtracked many a summer present and a few others that will definitely make an impact on dancefloors across the country but the rest of the album is disappointingly uninspired.

From the off - many of the first few tracks being the big singles - Different Sides of the Sun sounds like it was made by a bunch of guys enthusiastic for the old days of house as well as the new glossy sheen of the Balearic inspired house, which is always a great start. Latest single 'Isis' makes the first real impact which, oddly but intriguingly, sounds not too far from what a Bonobo/Metronomy collaboration might sound like. Sure, the lyrics aren't the most imaginative or exciting, but the beat and odd, punchy synths take you on its own carpet ride to the beaches of Ibiza.

'Reverse Skydiving', filled with Italo disco style synths and a catchy, yet minimalist groove continues this ride whilst hit single 'Benediction' takes things down a notch and settles you down by the pool for a more chilled out affair. It feels light and airy; lie back, close your eyes and feel the sea breeze and sun's rays wash over. Even the often neglected 'Forward Motion' makes such an impact in the context of the album, with its Detroit inspired repetitive pounding alongside those pop sensibilities, probably won't leave your head for a long while.

The problem is, once we get past those first few tracks that have been on every radio playlist under the sun albeit for good reason, there's not much else here. Apart from perhaps 'Detroit', which appears towards the end of the huge 15 track album with its down tempo, minimalist yet no less satisfying beat, nothing here sticks out.

Even a guest spot from electronic legend Roisin Murphy of Moloko fame doesn't really perk things up and we just get track after track of uninspiring house that all seems to bleed into one. It almost seems as though they thought they'd just ride it out with those big hits right at the start and hope the rest is OK, which makes it feel a tad lazy.

Disclosure's Settle suffered from the same problem but, luckily, that only lasted for a few tracks in the middle, picking up towards the end, whereas, here, it continues until the end from somewhere after the first third of the album. This isn't to say it's a bad album, it's just one that seems to rest on its laurels too much. The production is solid, as you would expect from a collective filled with such big names, but there's just not much new or exciting here to really make a big splash.

Rating: 6/10

Preview: Beacons Festival 2013

Leeds Festival is not the only festival to make a major scene in the Summer festival period. Entering its second year (third if we count the year it was cancelled due to floods which luckily didn’t spell the end as many of the artists set to perform held free gigs at Leeds’ Nation of Shopkeepers that weekend), Beacons Festival has made a big splash in the Summer festival circuit, despite some hiccups last year. But now it is back, with significant improvements and a line up to drool over. Mixing big name bands of the now with bands that are sure to make it big in the future, alongside some good old Yorkshire charm, it’s definitely worth paying attention to. Here are where you’ll probably find us over the weekend.

Friday:

Lulu James – Loud and Quiet, 18:50

North East newbie, Lulu James, has been well and truly blowing up in 2013. ‘Closer’ has been all over the radio airwaves, as has ‘Step By Step’. Bringing her soul/disco vocals that scream Donna Summer and Grace Jones attitude to club bangers that wouldn’t sound out of place on Newcastle’s Diamond Strip, this girl is most definitely worth a watch post-tea time.

Bonobo – Loud and Quiet, 22:45

You’ve lasted a whole day. You’ve probably eaten a lot. Drunk a lot. Not properly sat down for more than ten minutes while you wait for your mate to come back from the loo. What do you need? Bonobo. Yorkshire born and bred Ninja Tune legend will be on hand with his downbeat, chilled out tunes to give you a much needed break.

John Talabot – Resident Advisor, 00:00

After being thoroughly chilled out by Bonobo or ripped to shreds by Fucked Up, a choice I am admittedly still torn by despite recommending Bonobo, it’s clear that, come midnight there’s only one place you need to be to end the night. That place is in the hands of Spanish DJ and producer, John Talabot, set to bring his blend of Balearic house to the Yorkshire countryside, hopefully transforming the by then well trampled field into the beaches of Ibiza.

Saturday:

Wolf Alice – Loud and Quiet, 14:30

OK so Friday night was pretty heavy, especially staying up so late for John Talabot. You roll out of your tent, grab your breakfast of a pie or some BBQ food (because why not? You’re at a festival. Breakfast can mean anything here!) and sidle on over to Loud and Quiet. Wolf Alice will definitely blow away any cobwebs you have from the night before. Already making a name for themselves on the festival circuit, their ability to mix the loud and the quiet (making the stage they’re adorning all the more relevant) will wake you up but then give you a bit of time to gather your thoughts before barraging you once more. Just wake up already!

East India Youth – You Need To Hear This, 15:00

Music website The Quietus recently got in the record game. After trying to get labels to sign William Doyle AKA East India Youth after Doyle gave Quietus editor John Doran a copy of his CD at a Factory Floor gig, they thought “Let’s just do it ourselves!” set up The Quietus Phonographic Corporation and released Doyle’s debut EP Hostel. Exciting chilled out pop, it might be a bit of a punt if your timetable is full then but, hey, if The Quietus loves him, he must be at least half decent (NOTE: He’s very good!)

Wire – You Need To Hear This, 23:00

Wire have been going long before you were probably born. They’ve influenced everybody under the sun from REM to Sonic Youth to Elastica (who “borrowed” heavily from a number of Wire tracks) to Bloc Party to The Futureheads to…well….everyone. Now’s your chance to see what everyone has been banging on about for the past 30/40 years.

Sunday:

Sky Larkin – Loud and Quiet, 13:00

Another local band who, until a few months ago, seemed to drop off the map entirely. Already with two fantastic albums under their belt, they took a brief hiatus while lead guitarist and singer Katie Harkin went touring with Wild Beasts as their new keyboardist. A quick shimmy of the line-up, adding These Monsters’ Sam Pryor, and an announcement of a new album, they’re back with a fury and well worth rolling out of bed for.

Savages – You Need To Hear This, 21:00

You’ve probably heard enough about this lot this year. They’ve already proven themselves as an amazing band to smash up the tour circuit, blowing minds on every stage they walk upon. And with debut album Silence Yourself well and truly making waves, head to You Need To Hear This because you need to see this as well as hear this.

Django Django – Loud and Quiet, 21:40

Right, you’ve made it. The weekend is nearly over. Pissed as a fart and probably a little bit heavier (unless you took part in morning yoga to get rid of those burgers from the day before; if so, kudos, you’re a better person than me), you might as well go out with a good old boogie. Django Django will surely provide that with explosively danceable tunes filled with joy. Grab your new mates and just dance the night away.

Special Mention:

Hate the usual festival food? You’re in luck because Beacons have got a line-up of vendors which might just surpass the music on show, or at least it will when you’re stupidly hungry. From Leeds’ Red BBQ providing pulled pork and flame grilled meats to Skipton’s own Pie & Mash and some of the best fish and chips you might ever have at Fish& (operating out of a beach hut, I’ve only managed to catch them once but their chilli batter fish is unbelievable), this isn’t your standard noodles and burgers. To wash it all down, the fantastic Layne’s Espresso, based in Leeds, will be on hand to perk you up with some of the best coffee in Yorkshire. Or, if you’re leaning more towards the alcohol (if so, maybe find a bin to prop you up), Whitelock’s Real Alehouse is holding an ale festival with ales from all over the world. Let’s be real here. You’re probably just going to find me rolling around outside the food and drinks tents all weekend.

Televising Glastonbury is not going to "ruin the world"

At Glastonbury this year, NME interviewed Two Door Cinema Club about what they thought about the festival. In the interview, lead singer Alex Trimble declared that he believed the over 250 hours of live footage provided by the BBC of the festival was stopping Glastonbury from being “as special”. That isn’t quite that high on the “Wiley-o-meter of ridiculous things said during Glastonbury weekend”, but it’s certainly on there, making a significant mark.

In all disclosure, I did not go to Glastonbury this year. I was unable to get tickets because, when they went on sale, I was on a train going through the countryside trying to use what little 3G connection I could on my phone to give it a shot. Obviously, I failed, though I did surprise myself and get shockingly close. I did end up watching a lot of the coverage of the festival live and kudos must be given to the BBC for the sheer amount of coverage they managed to put out online, on the radio, on TV, and on the red button. Sure, the quality was often not too great, with glitches here and there, but on the whole the coverage was pretty great.

But now back to Trimble’s comments. I can sort of understand where he is coming from. Although he doesn’t explicitly mention this, it could be seen that it is unfair on those that have paid full price for a ticket to the festival to then have thousands sat at home also experiencing the same live performances they are but for the price of the TV license and the electric bill. But he misunderstands the whole ethos of a music festival; the togetherness and the memories created. He even discusses how festivals are an experience shared with the people around you, the friends you make and the memories you create, but then argues that those watching at home “poke their heads in”, seemingly as a distraction or a deterrent from making these memories. This is a comment I don’t quite understand. I can’t grasp how exactly a group of people you can neither see nor hear, whose presence is only marked by the existence of the BBC at the festival, can impact your enjoyment of a festival. They’re not getting involved in your memories. They didn’t experience that time your mate got mashed on pills and started dancing with a bunch of hippie folks in Stone Circle as the sun went up. They didn’t experience that time you lost everyone in Shangri-La and so hung out with some girl and her friends that you met by the pizza van earlier in the day that you bumped into.

There’s nothing like experiencing an event first hand. It feels like I’m stating the obvious here, but there’s a huge disconnect between experience an event and watching it on TV. Watching it on TV, for me, was about watching bands I really like perform fantastic sets, but I don’t get swept up in the atmosphere of the crowd. I can see that the crowd are having a great time but it doesn’t have the same effect on me at home as it would if I were there. I can create a bit of atmosphere myself by turning out the lights, whacking on a strobe and necking several bottles of gin over the course of the day but it wouldn’t be the same. For people watching it at home, the broadcast is about the performances themselves; seeing moments like R Kelly hopping on stage during Phoenix’s set at Coachella or Nile Rodgers and Chic doing every amazing number 1 hit he’s ever had his prints on. For those actually at the event, there’s a whole other dimension to it. It’s the meeting people, the food (sometimes horrible, sometimes great), the plethora of other things to do if there isn’t a band on you fancy watching.

It’s still special in spite of the ability to watch it on TV, same with any live show that is broadcast. I didn’t feel a connection to the artist or the audience during my viewing, something I know for sure I would’ve felt had I been there live. Broadcasting takes very little away from the performance, apart from there perhaps being more cameras around. It sure isn’t going to stop ticket sales as I, and many others, having watched the broadcasts are perhaps more keen to experience it for ourselves. It’s a gateway for people at home to see a world that they did not manage to gain access to. This has no bearing on the people at the actual festival. Sure, you might have people when you get back taking the piss because they had a nice warm bed with access to nice food and a good toilet, but did they really meet as many interesting people as you did, or really experience the performances how they were meant to? The answer is obviously no. Broadcasting, put simply, does not reduce anything about the festival experience for those that are there. And to say it’s “ruining the world” is just ridiculously hyperbolic.

Gin & Tea: An Evening Of Indulgence

Newcastle is a place that you wouldn’t entirely expect to have exciting places to have a drink, both alcohol and non. As with most cities, it has plenty of chains such as Tiger Tiger and Starbucks (placed so close together that if you walked at an average speed with a coffee you bought at one, it would still be way too hot to drink by the time you reached the next). But if you’re willing to step off the beaten path and head down some of the side streets, instead of instinctively going towards Sinners as a result of your treble hungry Sat Nav for alcohol, there are some real treats to find and, as more places begin to open, the amount of choice becomes more of a treat than a burden.

And here lies the beginning of one of the more middle class evenings of my life, containing both new places and an abundance of choice. To begin with, we take a trip to Pleased To Meet You. Tucked away on the excellent Highbridge, which is slowly becoming the place to go for all things a little bit different including The Stand Edinburgh’s little sister, a spin off gallery space run by the Baltic, and a number of independent boutique stores, Pleased To Meet You is Newcastle’s first gin bar. Well, at least the first modern gin bar. 

After the recent successes of The Lady Grey and Redhouse (an excellent pie and ale pub I highly recommend), the Ladhar Group have decided to take over what was the Old Turk Hotel and transform it completely with a postmodernist feel; all exposed pipe work alongside plush seating and a copper topped bar. As we entered the bar on opening day, just after clocking off time on a gloriously sunny afternoon, the place was teeming with business men and women just getting off from work, students looking for somewhere to relax during exam season, and curious passers-by. The atmosphere was buzzing but the lack of seating was somewhat a problem. However, it is possible that some of it was removed so as to make room for the expected rush on opening day.

The unique selling points of PTMY is the abundance of gin on offer. With over 50 varieties from your standard Tanqueray and Bombay Sapphire to the more exotic, such as Sweden’s Right Gin, the choice is spectacular. The choice is so large that you get to decide how you want your G&T, with a range of tonics and garnishes to go alongside your choice of gin. The problem with choice, however, is it’s difficult to find exactly what you want. Luckily for us, the complimentary bar simply provided us with Tanqueray gin along with our choice of tonic and garnish (BottleGreen’s Elderflower and Pomegranate with a grapefruit garnish was extremely refreshing in the early evening sun) but, other than the four recommendations on the menu, there appears to be no real help in deciding the best and most interesting combinations with no real details about the different gins. Of course, perhaps the staff might be more attentive to suggesting combinations when the bar isn’t so busy, and it’s understandable that they were swept off their feet with the demand for gin on opening night so, hopefully, on a regular night, the staff can be your guide through the extraordinary amount of choice available.

For those not too keen on gin, there are a wide range of whiskeys available (around 4 pages worth in the menu) and, luckily, there is some detail on the different types making choosing a whiskey to your taste a lot easier. There are also plenty of cask ales and craft beers on offer, bottled and from tap, and at a reasonable price, making PTMY a viable threat of BrewDog’s monopoly on the craft beer market in Newcastle. Although, as PTMY’s heart is firmly with gin, there isn’t the same amount of love given to the craft beer which you will be able to get from a trip to BrewDog, where the staff seem to know all their products inside and out.

No food was available to try on Friday, but the menu looks diverse with a real gastro feel to it; littered with pulled pork on brioche and crab linguine. To me, however, PTMY doesn’t really feel like somewhere you would go primarily to eat. Of course, trying the food might change my mind but it feels exactly like what it was on Friday evening; a place to go after work on a Friday to celebrate the weekend with a range of gins to get through every visit, which it does with aplomb.

Immediately following this, we took a trip a bit further out of the centre for a special preview of a new teahouse that could give Campus Coffee, its closest rival, a lot to be worried about. Quilliam Brothers’ Teahouse is situated in what used to be a disused building belonging to Newcastle University close to the Great North Museum. A family run business, led by the three eponymous Quilliam brothers, they produce a vast variety of teas to suit everyone’s taste: from Rooibos to Oolong to your ordinary Breakfast tea with a number of different flavours for each.

Like Pleased To Meet You, the emphasis here is on variety and there is a lot to try. Luckily for us, the staff are knowledgeable of their products and the menus provide a nice insight into what is in each tea. This makes the decision of what to have all the more easier, and with plenty on offer, it’s always nice to try something new and find a new favourite. After trying a number of teas on the Friday evening, I ended up returning again for Saturday lunch, when the place had officially opened and was instantly drawn back to the Ice Age and Tingly Fresh Masala, both refreshing teas that were perfect for the glorious sunshine outside (even if it had poured it down earlier that morning).

Admittedly, things were a bit haphazard on the Saturday but, as with Pleased To Meet You, opening day jitters are always to be expected. No salads were available apart from the Coq au vin salad, which scuppered my plans to have a Waldorf salad, and my second choice, a falafel and hummus stottie, didn’t come with any garnish (the staff did later realise this and apologise). The falafel, too, was a little too chewy for my tastes; I prefer my falafel to be of the more crumbly, almost melt in your mouth variety. However, it is hard to complain about the portion sizes which were huge. Definitely good value for money either way. The rest of the menu is rather interesting for what many would perceive to be a café, with interesting stotties (including one with heaps and heaps of pulled pork on top) and a large breakfast selection.

The teahouse itself is wonderfully situated, halfway between the main university and the university’s library, making it a perfect destination for many students. The huge floor to ceiling windows mean the place is mostly always lit by natural light in the day, and also add a fantastic people watching element from pretty much anywhere in the café. Downstairs houses a small gallery is tea inspired art (often painted or sculpted entirely out of used tea bags) and a cinema. The owners want the place to be not just another café, but a place for people to come and experience art and just talk. This, too, is the inspiration behind the 1am closing, making it perhaps the latest closing establishment that does not serve alcohol giving you a nice alternative to Sinners and perfect for a late night break during an essay all-nighter.

It was extraordinarily busy at Saturday lunchtime, with people often unable to find seats despite the wide number of tables and chairs available, proving that there is a market for this and, accompanied by friendly staff and an excellently diverse range of teas on offer (plus coffee and soft drinks for those not too swayed by tea), there’s real potential for Quilliam Bros to take off.

Images of Quilliam Brothers' Teahouse courtesy of Georgie Moule